Summer & Billy

What advice would you give to someone who is just started to consider growing their family through surrogacy?

My advice I would give to someone considering surrogacy would be to talk to your partner/spouse and really discuss what you are looking for in a surrogate. My husband and I weren’t exactly sure what to expect and really didn’t have any “guidelines” for the surrogate. It can feel super overwhelming when trying to pick the perfect person to carry your baby, so if you go into it knowing exactly what you’re looking for, I feel it can make the big decision a lot easier.

What advice would you give to someone who is about to start their first surrogacy journey?

The advice I would give to someone starting their surrogacy journey, would be to lean into others and make time for yourself and the emotions. There are so many emotions throughout the journey… many happy but others are difficult and raw. Find things that fill your cup, so you can have an outlet on the difficult days. Be kind to yourself and know that you are so much stronger than you think.

Describe the type and frequency of communication you had with your surrogate during your surrogacy journey(s).

We communicated with our surrogate through text mainly, but would face time as well. I tried to give the surrogate space but also wanted to see how things were going and typically would be in touch at least every few days. We feel so thankful that our surrogate would text pictures/updates pretty frequently.

Describe the moment you held your baby for the first time.

I think time stopped when I first held my baby. Wishing I could be frozen in that bliss filled moment forever. From her perfect round cheeks to her little squiring legs, I sobbed as all of the hard moments flew by in my mind, and all I could think was…. Everything we endured to get here, I would do a million times over. It is a feeling that I can’t quite express in words, but a moment that will forever be described as “my happy place”. Holding my daughter for the first time will forever be one of the most special days of my life!

Please describe your current relationship and what sort of contact you have with the surrogate(s).

We keep in touch with our surrogate at least every month!! From sending pictures to reminiscing on our wild journey, we have been through so much together. Our surrogate actually attended our daughter’s first birthday party in January and it was so special.

Please describe your experience working with Surrogate Steps in a few sentences.

Surrogate steps guided us and gave us the necessary tools for the surrogacy journey. I truly don’t know how I would have figured it all out without them.

Please describe your family building journey(s) in as much detail as possible. We find the best stories start around the time they met/married their partner (if applicable) or decided they wanted to start growing their family.

If you had asked me as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same: “a mommy.” My world was shattered at 15 when doctors told me I was born with an underdeveloped uterus and would never be able to carry a child. I met my husband in 2015 and shared my diagnosis with him early on. He was kind and compassionate, but as the years passed, our desire to have a family only grew stronger. We talked about it often, but it always felt out of reach and honestly overwhelming. After our wedding in 2021, we knew it was time to explore our options. Because of my diagnosis, we were not even sure if I had viable eggs for IVF and embryo creation. We started at a fertility clinic, where an ultrasound confirmed I had follicles and could proceed with IVF. That news was a huge relief, but it also meant a long road ahead filled with research and planning. Our egg retrieval was successful. Twelve eggs were retrieved, and four of them were healthy, viable, and made into embryos. Having embryos lifted a huge weight off our shoulders, but a new challenge quickly followed: finding someone we could trust to carry our baby. The emotions were overwhelming, and we did not know where to begin. Thankfully, our fertility clinic connected us with a surrogacy agency that guided us through the process. Our first match did not feel right, so we declined. Soon after, we were matched with the surrogate who ultimately carried our miracle. Although my journey to motherhood looked very different from what I once imagined, it turned out to be a truly beautiful experience that I will forever cherish.